Control Option Command

It has, at the moment of writing, barely become sunday the 24. of July 2011. On friday Norway was struck by the worst act of terrorism in recorded history. A self-proclaimed “Cultural Conservative” and “Conservative Christian” committed two unprecedented acts of violence. First he detonated a car bomb outside the building containing several departments of government, as well as the prime ministers office. The material damage was devastating, and at least seven lives were lost along with several critically wounded. His next act of terror makes this pale in comparison however.

The terrorist, clad in a police uniform, drove 40 kilometers to Tyrifjorden where the Young Labour Party had their traditional summer camp. He identified himself as a police officer and was shipped by ferry to the small island Utøya. When he arrived on the island he gathered the mostly adolescent crowd around him using the authority of the uniform. He then proceeds to open fire upon these kids for about 90 minutes. Chasing them into their tents. Luring them out of hiding by claiming again to be a police officer, and even shooting the kids trying to swim away from the island. The death toll is currently at 85. That is eighty-five kids between 10 and 20 murdered in one friday afternoon.

A ten year old boy is reported to have screamed “I’m just a small boy! You killed my father already! Go away and leave me!”

This has shocked and devastated Norway. We aren’t accustomed to anything even approaching this level of terror. It feels even closer to home to me as I attended and eventually arranged and led summer camps like these for almost ten years. Not for the Young Labour Party, but at the same location and with the same demography. I know this island in and out. Every single nook and cranny. And now I can only imagine this motherfucker walking from tent to tent and murdering the finest, bravest and most promising of our youth as they flee in terror.

I don’t cry often, I’m too much of a cynic, but this thought has me severly choked up.

I am also not much given to nationalism. Hell, the fucker who perpetrated this was a self-proclaimed nationalist. I must say however that even though I don’t vote Labour (more to the left) and I CERTAINLY don’t vote Conservative I am immensely proud of both my Prime Minister, Jens Stoltenberg and my Mayor, Fabian Stang, for how they have handled the media response. They have both since the first moment emphasized that we will NOT let this scare us into surrendering our freedom for illusions of security. We WILL remain an open and democratic society. We will NOT be intimidated.

Thank you to our elected leaders for representing the will and sentiment of your people.

And I am deeply moved to see that the response from the Norwegian people seems to be unanimously the same. We are not forming lynch mobs. We will not be scared into straying from our path of humanity and democracy. No fucking way.

I was choked up by the incident itself, but what had me actually break down in tears (in front of inlaws and all) was reading the messages of condolances and well-wishing from around the world. It’s a true comfort to me to see the people of Sweden and Denmark telling us they are crying with us and to tell us to keep our faith in an open and humane society, and then the messages from every country in the world; Some in English, some google translated, giving their messages of support and solace.

I’m the only one awake in the house of my inlaws now. Today we “Kept calm and went about our business.” and travelled to Sweden to do a bit of shopping and take our girls of 2 and 4 years old to the amusement park as we had promised. I know, however, that I will have to try somehow to explain all of this to them tomorrow.

I have no idea how to do that. But I will. Because Oslo is MY damn city, and Utøya is MY damn island and I’ll be skewered hotly before I let some fascist motherfucker make me or my girls be afraid in MY damn city.

This is a tragedy beyond imagination. My very warmest and fondest thoughts go out to those who died, those left behind and those traumatized.

And the terrorist? We will give him a lawyer. We will have him before court. We will judge him and sentence him humanely and we will NOT torture or lynch him. Because that’s what we believe in. Even when every fiber in my body wants to tear him apart with my hands; That’s not what we do.

That is all.

Kaja: “sudo marry me”.
Me: “Yes sir!”.

So I’m getting married. :)

Look at these girls. Just look at them!

My mother and my daughter. A source of relief and comfort and a source of fun and pure joy (and occasional breaking of balls.)

Now, look at this girl. Just look at her!

My ridiculously beautiful girlfriend who is just such an awesome, awesome girl, and who never seizes to amaze me.

I am a very lucky man.

This spring I spring into a new and better existence.
This time I spring into life.

That is all.

…while I get something of my own cooked up.

My mental illness does not define me.
and
Depression, burnout and writing code.

That is all.

Today I bury my grandmother. I can’t seem to find the same amount of words to say about it as I did for my grandfather, but do not let my failure to express myself lead to you to believe that I did not love her.

Rest in peace Kjelfrid Gammelsæter.