Beginnings

by Martin on 4/08/2008

Finally I’m allowed to talk about this.Toddler
A couple of months back my life took a turn for the strange. My girlfriend and I had for some months been trying to work through some problems in our relationship, and long story short we spent that weekend apart giving both of us some time to think, and that following monday we decided to go our separate ways. This was a friendly break-up mind you. We do love each other. We just can’t live together. (Although, ironically, we still do.) She’s a wonderful girl and I’m a bit worried about how I’ll get along without her.

We were scheduled to go to a wedding the next Saturday, and we joked about the alanity 1 of it all. The joke got even more hilarious on friday when my now ex-girlfriend surprised me with a three-litre carton of wine and a pregnancy-test with a blue dot on it. 2 Holy twist of fate Batman!

So long story short; We’ve been thinking a lot about what to do about this, and we’ve decided (unanimously) to keep it. Lord knows there’s enough kids out there with divorced parents (statistics say 50% of all marriages in Norway end in divorce), so you might even argue that it’d be an advantage to us that we already know we’ll have to work together on this despite of not being romantically involved anymore.

Of course there’s a lot stuff to be considered when making this decision. First and foremost of course is what I mentioned above. Apart from the consideration above, which of course was crucial, I also have some genetics to take into account. Depending on which site you’re visiting you may already know that I suffer from Bipolar Disorder 3 which is a hereditary disease. Melodramatic as it may sound it is a factor to consider when deciding to have children. It wasn’t too hard for me to decide that it’s not going to make a difference. First of all there’s a good chance it’ll be a non-issue. BP tends to skip a generation. Secondly I’d take great offense at any suggestion that it’d be better not to be born than to suffer from this disease. The only reason my condition has caused me real (and real they were) problems is that it was discovered so late and being aware of the signals I dare say my own experience and knowledge (and that of my ex-girlfriend, what with her having lived with me) should prevent that to be the case.

So am I ready for this? Of course I’m not, but I’m looking forward to it and although I’m scared shitless I’m pretty sure this’ll be the most interesting, devastating, exhilarating, amazing, trying, rewarding thing I’ve ever done.

  1. my new word to replace the wrongful use of the word “irony” to describe a humorous twist of fate ref: Alanis Morisette ↩
  2. No, we’re not shitheads. She’d bought the wine and then taken the test. She doesn’t drink while pregnant. ↩
  3. Not sure why I always capitalize that name. ↩

There are 6 comments in this article:

  1. 4/08/2008Anne-Marie says:

    Gratulerer! Det er vel de færreste som føler seg klar til å få barn, men de aller fleste blir det underveis. Heldig barn som har deg som far.

  2. 4/08/2008Øyvind H. says:

    Holey crapamoley!

    That is a turn for the strange indeed. This must have been right after we took that talk over those beers after that flash-course. And to have this following that, with that (!), is quite weird also.

    Well, let me be among the first to congratulate. I’m sure it’ll all work out splendidly :)

  3. 4/08/2008Cath says:

    Congratulations!
    I know that the choice is a complicated one, but do what feels right in your hearts. The kid will turn out fine, it will have loving parents, and most people with BP that has been given the right tools (and I don’t mean only medication) to deal with it are creative, wonderful, exiting people. Like you Martin (*love ya*)

    Kiss from Cath

  4. 4/08/2008Martin says:

    Thanks to every one of you.
    What’s life without friends. :)

  5. 12/08/2008Øyvind H. says:

    Still life I suppose. Its just really crappy :D

  6. 20/09/2008GØF says:

    Puddingprodusent Jacobsen, baker Martin med boller i ovnen? Skit nå all denne politiske korrektheten – verden er for mangfoldig for det; så lenge dere begge VIL kan man alltid få det TIL. Gift eller ei – det viktigste er at man har motiverte foreldre som ikke hater trynet på hverandre. Jeg føler meg som en onkel allerede!

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